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By Stephanie DuBois

Traditional wedding vows have long been a thing of the past and any
number of variations now exist for all types of couples and marriages.
But perhaps special wedding vows - more accommodating to the lifestyles
of the rich and famous — need to be written for the Hollywood couples
set to walk down the aisle in 2006.

Do
you [insert superstar name] take [insert young ing?nue, supermodel,
nannies' name] to be your wedded [husband/wife] to live together in
marriage with all appropriate prenuptial documents signed and
notarized? Do you promise to love, comfort, honor and keep [him/her]
for better or worse, botox or box-office fiascoes, for richer or poorer
movie deals and tax evasions, in sickness, series cancellations, rehab
stays and in health? And forsaking all others - including the new
nanny, be faithful - even while away on location with Brad or Angelina, only to [him/her] so long as you both shall be marketable?

Hmmm.
Sounds jaded, admittedly. But that’s just what most industry wags have
become over the most anticipated nuptials of 2006, the TomKat union of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.
Cruise’s over-the-top rantings of endless love for his young amour left
many turned off and wondering if thou doth profess your love too
loudly, Tom, especially when it coincides with the opening of your next
film. The couple is expecting a baby and Cruise told Barbara Walters
they’d most likely hold off on getting married till after the Tombino
arrives. But Tom would probably want to go with the "You Complete Me
Vows" ala his Jerry Maguire character. While Miss Katie would most
certainly find the "Fairy Tale Dreams Vows" — for the little princess
that is now all grown up and ready for her dream to come true — most
appropriate.

As for Brangelina — are they, aren’t they, have they, haven’t they,
will they, won’t they? Who can keep up with the rumors flying all over
the place about Angelina being pregnant, Brad wanting to adopt her
children, George Clooney
setting up a wedding for them? At this point, I for one, don’t care if
they become Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Mr. & Mrs. Jones or Mr. &
Mrs. Pitt.

Aaah, but even cynicism fades in the face of true love.

Set to wed Seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong this Spring, rocker Sheryl Crow
might want to go for those "Meaning To My Life Vows." The couple has
been together since 2003 and Crow has reportedly said of her cycling
champion/cancer surviving fiance that she learns "so much from Lance’s
determination to live life every minute to the fullest."

Emmy-winning "Medium" star Patricia Arquette
has been predicting that she will finally wed her long-time fiance,
actor Thomas Jane, in the summer. Engaged since 2002, the parents of a
two-year-old daughter will probably want to take the "Forsaking All
Dead People" vows for that one.

Ryan Reynolds and fiance Alanis
Morissette haven’t set the date yet, but sound like they’re ready to
take the "Unifying Force Vows" to keep their busy lives on the love
track. Reynolds told the Beck/Smith column recently that, "We trade
off. She’ll come on location with me and then I’ll go on the road with
her. As long as you keep each other the priority, it seems like
everything else just seems to fall into place."

Whether it be
"Sacred Promise Vows," "More Than a Moment Vows," "Love and Acceptance
Vows" or "Pledge of Love Vows," the following celebs have vowed to join
in holy matrimony - or at least matrimony — in the coming year:

"Brokeback Mountain" hottie Heath Ledger
and former "Dawson’s Creek" regular Michelle Williams reportedly plan
to give their recently born child parents with the same last name
sooner or later but no date has been set as yet.

"Desperate
Housewives’" Marcia Cross is engaged but not desperate enough to have
set a date yet. Cross became engaged to stock broker Tom Mahoney this
fall.

Flea of The Red Hot Chili Peppers is Red Hot to marry "Zoolander" model Frankie Rayder, but too Chili to set a date yet.

Kelly
Rowland has bid farewell to Destiny’s Child with the group’s last tour,
but seems to be destined to walk down the aisle with Dallas Cowboys
safety Roy Williams. Engaged in 2004, Rowland was supposed to wed in
February of 2005 but the nuptials were postponed. Rumors of a
game-winning touchdown at the altar are for this year.

After 10 years together, Amy Smart is engaged to her high school sweetheart, actor Brandon Williams.

According to US Weekly, a diamond ring as been spotted on the left hand of Nicole Kidman, which has left many to wonder if she and country star Keith Urban are engaged.  The fellow Aussies have been having secret rendezvous for months.

Former
"Home Improvement" star Zachery Bryan is engaged to his longtime
girlfriend, Carly Matros. They have known each other since fifth grade
but only began dating two years ago. They plan to marry next summer.

"Entourage" actor Kevin Dillon, 39, became engaged this year to his girlfriend, model-actress Jane Stuart, 27.

"Six
Feet Under" actor Eric Balfour is engaged to marry his girlfriend,
actress Moon Bloodgood. The couple plan to tie the knot next year.

Singer
Rod Stewart and his longtime girlfriend, Penny Lancaster, got engaged
in Paris this March. While the couple were at the top of the Eiffel
Tower, Stewart got down on one knee and proposed. "I left it this long
because I wanted to get it right this time," Stewart said in a
statement. In November, Lancaster gave birth to a baby boy named
Alistair Wallace. Stewart and Lancaster plan to wed next summer now his
divorce from Rachel Hunter is complete.

Amanda Peet,
currently on the big-screen in "Syriana," is back on with her on-again,
off-again screenwriter boyfriend, David Benioff and could make it the
whole nine yards this time.

Grammy-winning singer/songwriter Pink
could also end up a blushing bride this year. She proposed to motocross
champion Carey Hart, who said yes, but again no date set yet.

"Las Vegas" actor Josh Duhamel
became engaged in late June to Fergie of The Black Eyed Peas, with whom
he’d been involved since Autumn, 2004 - and they’re also keeping mum on
their future wedding plans.

Rebecca Romijn
and "Crossing Jordan’s" Jerry O’Connell announced their plans to tie
the knot in September, but have yet to announce the joyful date.

Singer Avril Lavigne
became engaged to her long time friend, Sum 41 lead singer Deryck
Whibley during her concert tour, but no wedding scheduled yet.

Charlize Theron
and her fiance Stuart Townsend have reportedly said the day they get
hitched will be "the day that gays and lesbians can get married - when
that right is given to them. We’ve decided that we’re gonna use that in
a positive way, so the day that law gets passed then we’ll get
married."

And rap superstar Eminem
recently announced on a radio show that not only is he back with his
ex-wife — with whom he went through an ugly divorce and custody battle
over their young daughter in 2001 - "we are probably going to remarry."
They might want to pass on those "Lifetime Commitment Vows" this time.

Whatever
vows are made, we offer the advice of the late, great prophet Kahlil
Gibran. "Stand together, yet not too near together. For the pillars of
the temple stand apart. And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in
each other’s shadow."

(Got this article from here.)

This entry was posted on Monday, January 9th, 2006 at 6:37 am and is filed under Hollywood. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.